Five Tips for Supporting a Grieving Young Person
Young people can find life challenging at the best of times but when someone has died it can be especially hard. Here are a few tips for supporting them as they try to come to terms with their loss.
1.Be Available When They Need You
It might not be the most convenient time of day but if a young person wants to talk, try to be available for them. If you really can’t, tell them when you will be free and stick to it. You might get the “well I need to talk now” response but they will be okay.
2. Don’t Assume That There Is Something ‘Wrong’ Just Because They Don’t Want to Talk
Everyone deals with loss in different ways. Keep an eye out but don’t push them to talk. Gently point them towards good resources like our Tough Stuff journal. You may be pleasantly surprised by leaving it lying around for them to pick up…
3. Talk About the Person Who Died Often
Everyone knows that the person has died, and each person will be thinking about them, but usually thinking they will upset the other by mentioning them. Young people may find it especially hard to raise the subject. Be the one to do so, and regularly, without expecting them to say something but responding to the moments when they do.
4. Use the Correct Words
Grandpa didn’t fall asleep or pass away - grandpa died. This is particularly important when you are talking to small children but equally important when communicating with teens because it makes it real however hard that is.
5. Be Honest with Them but Not Too Honest
Tell them you are struggling too - let them see your tears and pain - but don’t use them for your own emotional support. Find a trusted friend or group. For example, The Bereavement Journey in locations across the UK. See www.thebereavementjourney.org.
AtaLoss’ children’s and youth bereavement support specialist, Pete English, has also developed the acclaimed ‘TOUGHstuff: Someone Has Died’ journal for helping young people to process a bereavement. This is available for purchase in our shop.
For other resources to support young people see our resources section.
