Surviving Easter - as a Widow
Family day out in London with a trip up The Shard from October 2016 – cheers to making memories with a view!
Easter, like Christmas, is one of those times of year that can hit especially hard when you’re grieving. There’s the build-up, the family traditions, the messages of hope and renewal…and yet, for many of us, it just highlights what’s missing. For me, the first Easter after my husband died was not about spring flowers or chocolate eggs. It was about survival.
I didn’t want to plaster on a smile or join in Easter lunch. I didn’t want to hear "He is risen" when my own world felt empty and undone. And I know I’m not alone in that. For those who have lost someone they love, Easter, especially with its focus on new life and family, can shine a very painful spotlight on grief.
Here are a few things that helped me get through it, and might help you too:
Acknowledge what you’re feeling
Don’t fight your emotions. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, numb, angry, or just sad, it’s okay. You don’t have to "be okay" just because it’s Easter. Your grief is valid.
Make a plan, but keep it flexible
I found it helpful to have a loose idea of what I wanted to do that weekend, but I also gave myself permission to change my mind. That’s okay. Do what feels right for you.
“The first Easter, I didn’t do anything special. I just got through the day, hour by hour. That was enough.”
Don’t feel pressured to conform
There’s no rulebook for grieving at Easter. If you need to step away from certain traditions, that’s okay. If you’d rather be around others, or if you need solitude, honour that. This is about survival, not perfection.
Remember your person
If it brings comfort, find a gentle way to include your loved one in the weekend. Light a candle, cook a dish they loved, share a story about them. You might even start a new ritual in their memory, like taking a spring walk in a place they loved.
“That first Easter, we shied away from the usual family gathering at our house and instead visited one of my husband’s favourite places with our three children. Later we cooked one of his favourite meals (there were many—he loved food!) and simply spent the day together, as a unit. It felt right.”
Accept that joy might creep in
And that’s not a betrayal. I remember the first time I laughed, really laughed, after he died. It felt strange, like I shouldn’t. But joy and grief can coexist. Give yourself permission to feel lightness, even if only for a moment.
Reach out
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s talking to a friend or family member, finding support in your community, or exploring resources like AtaLoss.org help is out there. Some people find comfort in faith services, while others may prefer a quiet walk or time with those who understand.
Be gentle with yourself
Easter may not look like it used to, and it may never feel the same again. But with time, and care, you will find your own way through it. One step, one season at a time.
“Easter has become simpler for me. More reflective. Less about busy gatherings, more about meaning—and remembering.”
You’re not alone. And whatever this Easter brings, I want you to know—you can get through it.
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