The Final Farewell: - The Power of Discussing Death
Death. It's a truth of life. Yet, it's a topic that many of us actively choose to avoid. AtaLoss is here to support people when they are bereaved but also to promote a healthy attitude to death which is, after all, part of life. The charity strongly believes talking about death before it happens is healthy and can ease the grieving process when it does.
We can better prepare for loss, change the negative narrative, and remove the taboo by talking about it. Here are some thoughts about this.
Removing the Taboo
Death and bereavement are taboo subjects, especially in our society, where we are rarely exposed to it, unlike other communities and cultures where a death is shared with a whole community. In contrast, many bereaved people in this country experience friends or neighbours literally crossing the street to avoid talking to them. They don’t know what to say, so they avoid saying it. Conversations about what happens when we die should be encouraged, not shied away from.
While death is a difficult subject, openly discussing it can help us accept it, especially if we are with someone at the end of their life.
It improves mental health. Bottling up our feelings can cause stress and anxiety, but tackling difficult subjects can improve mental wellbeing. By processing the emotions and thoughts, we can better cope with the loss.
It promotes openness. We need to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Asking questions helps start an honest conversation. This openness builds relationships with others who may be experiencing the same thing.
It removes negative connotations. It is said that after the darkness comes the light. Indeed, once we have had the tough conversation, it is possible to graduate to a better place. In grieving we might see the positives, like someone’s impact on our life and the memories we cherish.
Speaking Helps Grieving
Talking about dying can be hard, but we shouldn't underestimate the power of conversation. Discussing death means confronting our fears if someone is facing death. This creates a platform for expressing emotions - it is the first step towards healing if we’ve been bereaved.
Discussing death can mean sharing final wishes before someone dies. Whilst this can be a difficult conversation, it often gives the person a sense of control because we know what to do when the time comes. Knowing how they would like us to respect their wishes - and honouring their memory - can also give peace and comfort to us when we are bereaved.
Believe it or not, talking about death can bring personal growth. It can shift our perspective, making us appreciate the present more. It can mean living more fully. Death is part of life. And it can mean we all experience a ‘good death’.
AtaLoss is the UK’s Bereavement Signposting and Information service. The aim of the service is to enable bereaved people to find support and information easily whenever they need it. Have a look now and tell others about it. It could start the conversation we all need to have and prepare ourselves better for bereavement when it happens.
If you are able to offer a specialist perspective for articles on death, grief or bereavement, please contact us on office@ataloss.org.
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