Funerals: How to Be Involved If You Can’t Attend

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16 Dec

Written By Emily Lewis

A single lit candle illuminates the dark surroundings, creating a serene and tranquil atmosphere.

Saying goodbye at a funeral is an important way of marking our relationship with a person who has died, however we knew them. We may dread it, but we still want to be present and to get it ‘right’ as a fitting tribute to all that they were to us. A funeral also plays a very important part in accepting the reality of their death, so it is helpful to attend and/or to mark the moment however we can.

There may be good reasons why you are unable to attend the funeral, such as illness or perhaps the death happened in a different country. If you find yourself in that position, there are still things you can do that will bring you comfort and help you accept your loss and start your grief journey.

First, you can make an online memorial on our website.

Here Are Some Things You May Be Able to Do

i. Choose Music

It may be possible to choose the music you or the person who has died would have liked for the service.

ii. Live Stream the Service

Ask the Funeral Director if the service can be live streamed. This would enable you and others who can’t attend - perhaps if they live abroad or are ill - to feel part of it.

iii. Audio or Video Record the Service

It may be possible for a relative who is attending or a member of the Funeral Director staff to record or video the event. Permission will be needed from the venue, but the Funeral Director will be able to advise.

iv. Send a Message for Reading Out

You may be able to write or record a message to be read out or played at the funeral by the celebrant or minister. Contact your Funeral Director for advice.

v. Place a Message in the Coffin

You may be able to place a special message for the person in the coffin, with the permission of the family/next of kin.

vi. Ask About the Funeral

If others were able to attend, ask them to call you afterwards so that you can hear their account of the event, and take the time to share your memories of the person.

vii. Hold Your Own Memorial at Home

Set aside the time while the funeral is taking place (or later) to hold your own act of memorial at home. Perhaps look at pictures, play some of the person’s favourite music, write a message to them, light a candle or follow any of your own cultural rituals. You can also make an online memorial on our website.

The Church of England website offers a place for lighting and keeping an on-line candle alight for your loved one.

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Emily Lewis

Emily Lewis is the Founder of TwoFold and a Squarespace Website Designer. Based in the UK.

Having spent years working for a marketing agency and as an in-house Marketer, Emily started her own website design company with marketing at the forefront. She has been a finalist for South Wales Business Awards Young Entrepreneur of the Year 2023, as well as UK Paid Media Awards 2022 'Best Use Of LinkedIn Ads'.

https://twofold-studios.com/