- Befriending
The death of a loved one is one of most difficult experiences that individuals can have in life. The pain and grief that follows can, at times, feel overwhelming. Although difficult and painful, grief is a normal response to loss and is important in helping us to heal.
Loneliness is often something we experience following bereavement and can happen at any age. For example, a parent who has lost a partner can feel isolated as all the parenting responsibilities fall on his or her shoulders, leaving little time or energy for socialising. A young adult returning to or starting university, feeling unable to socialise and make new friends, can become extremely lonely in grief, isolated as they often are, from supportive family networks and friends. In old age, losing a partner of many years can have a profound effect on health and well-being, which can explain why many elderly people die not long after their spouse.
The good news is there are many organisations that can help with befriending services - either telephone or face to face. They offer trained volunteers to talk, share a coffee, companionship to attend the theatre or go shopping, or simply lend a sympathetic ear and listen as the bereaved person deals with their grief.
Socialising After You Have Lost a Partner
Guilt, fear and loss of confidence. These are all normal emotions to feel after a bereavement, especially if you have lost your partner or spouse. It may feel as if the world has come to an end and you have no energy or desire to meet others. However, we must be careful that our grief doesn't isolate us and make us lonely. Below are a few words of wisdom from the Oddfellows Friendly Society.
Lots of scientific studies show the same things – friends are good for us. Having strong social connections helps guard against depression and reduces stress. Sustaining friendships can seem hard after a loss, but over time the people around you will be a crucial part of the grieving mechanism. If you never go out, keep turning offers down, or stop speaking to those around you, friends may drift away. You may feel that you want to isolate yourself, but socialising with people you know, no matter how hard, will help you cope.
National Organisations Offering Befriending Services
This is not a comprehensive list but a few of the experienced services that provide support to people of different ages and in different situations. Click on the organisation name to access their befriending web page:
The Compassionate Friends Compassionate Friends offer a 'grief companion' for informal support and friendship to recently bereaved parents. The contact you have with your grief companion may be by phone, email or online media - whatever suits you both.
Age UK/ Silverline Telephone befriending service offered by two organisations dedicated to supporting older people.
Independent Age Offering regular telephone or visits for older folk from trained befriending volunteers.
LGBTQ Foundation Rainbow Brew Buddies offers telephone befriending to anyone who considers themselves LGBTQ and lives in the Greater Manchester area.
Let's Talk About Loss LTAL run meet ups across the UK for young people aged 18-35 in over 30 major cities. Groups are run by bereaved young adults for bereaved young adults, offering space to share experiences and enjoy each other's company.
Oddfellows Oddfellows is a non-profit, mutual friendly society with a national network of 115 Branches. They offer friendship through their membership networks for everyone – from all walks of life and ages.
Care for The Family Offering befriending to parents, widowed young, and Additional Needs. When you speak to a Care for the Family Befriender you will be speaking to a person whose own experience is similar to yours.
Some Local Befriending Services
DPVC Befriending Service in the Vale of Glamorgan, South Wales.
Time to Talk Befriending in and around Brighton.
SOBS Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) offer local befriending support groups. Find a local group by visiting this page on their website.
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