Annually - Remembering
As we approach the beginning of November, we encourage people who have been bereaved to consider activities on offer at this time to mark loved ones and help them with their grief. Taking time out to remember, perhaps annually, can be helpful when someone has died.
Our nation is increasingly recognising the importance of remembering, with organisations offering a range of activities from 1st/2nd November (All Saints/All Souls Day) to Remembrance Sunday or Armistice Day. These few days give us opportunity to remember our own loved ones who have died, prior to remembering those who have fallen in service or in the two World Wars. As a charity we support and encourage activities during this period, which we are calling the ‘Season of Remembering’. Staff members Nicky Grey and Yvonne Tulloch list some reasons why, and suggestions of what we might do.
Why is remembering important?
By remembering those who have died we give ourselves a means of exploring meaning and it helps us locate our place in the process of grief.
Recalling loved ones at a special gathering can offer more prominence to their importance in our lives.
Attending a special event provides an opportunity to invite and engage wider family members and friends to share in, recognise and honour those who have been important in our lives.
Community events and special gatherings remind us we are not alone.
Returning to a place of ritual, ceremony or burial can help us to recollect things that may have been a haze at the time.
Gathering in a ‘safe space’ with others around who understand grief, can enable us to face pain which we may not have felt able to do. Buried pain is not good for our well-being; it needs to be felt and worked through.
We don’t want to forget our loved ones; we don’t need to, and we shouldn’t. Healthy grieving involves learning to incorporate the person into our tomorrow rather than leaving them behind.
What could you do? Here are some ideas:
Attend a community or faith-based event near you or near to where the person lived. Many churches, for instance, offer All Souls services and will advertise them on their website.
Share a simple meal with friends and family including a recipe or favourite dish that the person liked.
Dig out photographs and create a collage of the person or a memory box of items that remind you of them.
Go to a place that was special to you both and recall the times you shared.
Create a lasting memorial by planting bulbs, a shrub or tree.
Add the person to a memorial website with photos and memories shared. Visit our memorial page.
Wear a ‘Remembering Someone’ badge from 1st – 11th November. Visit out shop.
Make a donation in the person’s honour to a charity that was meaningful or related to their death. We would welcome donations made to AtaLoss. Donate to AtaLoss here.
Whatever you do, don’t forget the person. You are who you are because of them and the imprint they made on your life.
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